Changes

I hate change.  I avoid it like the plague.  But a few months ago, I started thinking that things needed to change.  I am a good mom and I love my children so much, but I started to notice a change in me when I worked 3 days a week as opposed to none.  I was much calmer, nicer, and excited to be home when I worked more!  I know it makes no sense!!  So I fought the little voice in my head that said "what if?", until I finally talked to Shannon and said "I think it's time for me to return to the working world full time."  An opportunity came open at the company that I have been working part time for 3 yrs and had started full time with in January of 2007.  So with enthusiasm I took it and I start tomorrow.  But it has been a LONG week of trying to get the house ready and kids ready to go to daycare.  Chase can't have a bottle, pacifier, baby food, high chair or crib in the toddler 1 rm he will be in.  And Ava will have to change preshools and now will go everyday!  I really started to think is this worth it, to turn my family upside down so 1. we can have a little more income and 2. for my career?  Well it all came together today.  I finally relaxed, which relaxed the kids; I put them back on the schedule I have always had them on, they will only be at daycare for a 85 full days a yr; and I enjoyed my children for the last day as a stay at home mom.

The first time, ever, I saw your face...

Last year at this time I was preparing to go in for an induction, to make sure baby came when Grandma Rita was here to watch Ava.  I called the hospital the night of Feb 18th to see if a bed was available, and of course they were jam packed with pregos.  (This happens when a snow storm hits.)  Shannon is on his way to Denver to pick up Rita from the Airport, with Ava in a snow storm!  My friend Karen sat with me at home incase a bed opened up at the hospital later that evening.  But it would be one more night at home.  The night nurse called the next morning at 6 am to tell us we could come in whenever we wanted.  I believe Shannon dragged his feet and we finally left by 7:45 am. ; )  I was so ready to meet this little baby boy. 
As I am being hooked up to the baby monitor, we discover that in fact I started labor on my own, however we would also learn that the contractions were not producing any RESULTS!  I did not eat that morning, and I did not eat that evening in hopes that we might see a baby.  By 9 pm I was STARVING, cranky, and quite frustrated at how the doctor chose to keep the petocin levels at a minimum.  But, I had amazing nurses the whole time I was in labor.  They were angels-checking on me, getting me a sandwich, and keeping me motivated.  By 7 am on February 20th, a new nurse came on and she was tough, the kind that says lets have a baby today!!!  She made me get up and walk for an hour until the Dr. ok'd to up my petocin, no more messin' around!  9 am lots 'o petocin, 9:45 "I need an epidural, now!!!!", the contractions progressed and I rested for about an hr and a half, and at 11:30 am the nurse broke my water, 11:35 am I say to Shannon-"Ummm, I feel lots of pressure....." , he gets the nurse who checks and sees the baby's head and immediately calls the Dr. who thankfully lived only 5 minutes away.  By 11:55 am everyone was scrubbed in and ready to catch this baby boy!  12:00 pm I started the 3 sets of 3 pushes that at 12:15 pm produced a beautiful, crying baby Balvanz!!!  Now when Ava was born there was no crying, it was very quiet ..., but this little boy was mad, cold and wanted to tell us all about how he felt.  : ( 
From the moment I saw his face and held him close, my heart was taken.  I thought there was no way I could love a 2nd child like the 1st, boy was I wrong!   
Now after he was checked, cleaned, weighed/measured (7 lbs. 11 oz., 20 1/4 in. long), they ask what his name will be.  Shannon and I look at each other because the previous day I told him I was not sure about this baby being an "August" (Shannon's great-grandfather's name).  So we decided we needed to meet this baby to decide.  Well it took a phone call to let Grandma Rita and Ava know that baby Balvanz was here, to get the answer!  Rita says, "Why not Chase Lee?"  Chase was the middle name I had chosen and loved so much, August was Shannon's first choice, but we had never put Chase and Lee together!!!  Bells go off, we love it!!  This quiet, cuddly, tiny little boy now had the perfect name. 

Chase Lee, you are the peas to Ava's carrots, the yin to her yang.  What a miracle that you chose us to be your family!  We are now complete because of you. XO